U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
