All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize