Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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