Sry I called you an 8
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
