dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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