That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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