so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
