Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
