I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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