shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
