What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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