i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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