is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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