I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
