My nipple is on Facebook.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
