its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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