i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
