Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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