went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
