I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
