i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
