living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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