The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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