I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
