wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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