At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize