spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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