I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"