He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?