Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...

(301): View more from Maryland

Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better

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(618): If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is... (301): Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better http://tfl.nu/emnn

Replies (14) Good night (3896) Bad night (878)
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(912): View more from Georgia

So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.

(1-912): View more from Georgia

Who leaves their car unlocked at night?

(912): View more from Georgia

Someone who wants to read the newspaper.

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(912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper. (1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night? (912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper. http://tfl.nu/c19o

Replies (23) Good night (7061) Bad night (701)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.

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(208): Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/oxm0

Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (3173)
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(916): View more from California

this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.

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(916): this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her. http://tfl.nu/xmhd

Replies (26) Good night (4935) Bad night (756)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.

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(314): He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life. http://tfl.nu/k4q7

Replies (33) Good night (933) Bad night (5801)
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(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0

Replies (35) Good night (12480) Bad night (1482)
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(251): View more from Alabama

As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.

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(251): As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/zyub

Replies (33) Good night (10452) Bad night (1355)
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(360): View more from Washington

Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.

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(360): Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name. http://tfl.nu/xkiq

Replies (22) Good night (4252) Bad night (938)
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(707): View more from California

I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister

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(707): I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister http://tfl.nu/vdmj

Replies (7) Good night (2451) Bad night (815)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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(703): Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution http://tfl.nu/2lwu

Replies (6) Good night (3121) Bad night (982)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life

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(412): Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life http://tfl.nu/5boh

Replies (6) Good night (2855) Bad night (1433)
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(916): View more from California

you want your laptop back?

(1-916): View more from California

are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

(916): View more from California

both.

(1-916): View more from California

come over.

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(916): you want your laptop back? (1-916): are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex? (916): both. (1-916): come over. http://tfl.nu/ikpf

Replies (6) Good night (3386) Bad night (792)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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(604): After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me. http://tfl.nu/m19j

Replies (5) Good night (1626) Bad night (681)
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(801): View more from Utah

Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

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(801): Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated. http://tfl.nu/dcl8

Replies (6) Good night (1741) Bad night (710)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.

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(416): Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused. http://tfl.nu/e1qy

Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (260)

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