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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

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• (409): View more from Texas

  so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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• (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.

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• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.

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