Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"

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  (601): i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?" http://tfl.nu/96xf
  Replies (133) Good night (1790) Bad night (5072)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

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  (574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez
  Replies (24) Good night (1293) Bad night (7320)
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  (631): View more from New York

  even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away

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  (631): even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away http://tfl.nu/ld5s
  Replies (14) Good night (3000) Bad night (1026)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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  (720): so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass http://tfl.nu/kbrv
  Replies (21) Good night (1450) Bad night (8345)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (963) Bad night (6693)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy

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  (785): Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy http://tfl.nu/oyu4
  Replies (10) Good night (2669) Bad night (1002)
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  (559): View more from California

  The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.

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  (559): The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/xrml
  Replies (6) Good night (3136) Bad night (797)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.

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  (920): Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage. http://tfl.nu/b73b
  Replies (5) Good night (2136) Bad night (635)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.

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  (703): I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you. http://tfl.nu/i8ov
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (560)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.

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  (804): Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many. http://tfl.nu/1pp3
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (553)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"

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  (614): her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed" http://tfl.nu/kvl0
  Replies (2) Good night (1155) Bad night (548)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.

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  (307): MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting. http://tfl.nu/3tf3
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (1054)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  What is this nonsense on the table

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Your idea.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out

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  (330): What is this nonsense on the table (1-330): Your idea. (330): I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out http://tfl.nu/afwc
  Replies (5) Good night (434) Bad night (739)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

  (253): View more from Washington

  why what happened?

  (607): View more from New York

  Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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  (607): I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out (253): why what happened? (607): Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket. http://tfl.nu/9yxi
  Replies (9) Good night (809) Bad night (383)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  After this week, alcohol is mandatory.

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  (224): After this week, alcohol is mandatory. http://tfl.nu/g89u
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (156)

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