R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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