i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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