ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
