They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
