I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
