Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
