Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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