we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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