Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
