Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
