I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You were trust falling into bushes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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