How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
