that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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