Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You can't special order awesome
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
