Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
