This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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