11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
