I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
