Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
