Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
