I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
