Already got asked if we're dating
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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