They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
