i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
