id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
