the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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