no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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