if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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