Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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