I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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